3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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