i think my mom watched the whole time
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
