i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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