I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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