the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
This is the high leading the old right now
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
