You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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