hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My bed smells like the plague
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
