It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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