i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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