jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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