I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
