Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
