Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
farters have to be the big spoon...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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