He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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