Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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