After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
