If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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