Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize