she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
