All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Are my feet made of real feet?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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