I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I have feelings that need drinking.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
