Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So much rum. So many feels.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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