Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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