you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
