Texts From Last Night

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  (661): View more from California

  What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife

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  (661): What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife http://tfl.nu/wigu
  Replies (16) Good night (1735) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle

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  (512): My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle http://tfl.nu/nk60
  Replies (44) Good night (2542) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself

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  (253): I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself http://tfl.nu/cpen
  Replies (21) Good night (4394) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.

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  (502): guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct. http://tfl.nu/g5ut
  Replies (48) Good night (5417) Bad night (2106) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  can I come stay the night

  (217): View more from Illinois

  yeah, but no sex tonight

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'll stay home

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  (810): can I come stay the night (217): yeah, but no sex tonight (810): I'll stay home http://tfl.nu/tu8g
  Replies (34) Good night (2207) Bad night (7980)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  That reminds me...we need to get swords

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  (785): That reminds me...we need to get swords http://tfl.nu/9ivg
  Replies (15) Good night (7016) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
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  (555): View more from

  She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.

  (555): View more from

  Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.

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  (555): She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome. (555): Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there. http://tfl.nu/h5mq
  Replies (13) Good night (3311) Bad night (818)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice

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  (732): There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice http://tfl.nu/ufj4
  Replies (7) Good night (2296) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.

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  (406): Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body. http://tfl.nu/hcjb
  Replies (6) Good night (977) Bad night (2300) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.

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  (719): If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin. http://tfl.nu/5byt
  Replies (6) Good night (954) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.

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  (406): I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth. http://tfl.nu/0auz
  Replies (12) Good night (667) Bad night (2080) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight

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  (616): Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight http://tfl.nu/1hmk
  Replies (3) Good night (846) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum

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  (337): Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum http://tfl.nu/ae6k
  Replies (7) Good night (752) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.

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  (240): I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos. http://tfl.nu/cwl9
  Replies (3) Good night (998) Bad night (249) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.

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  (401): I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car. http://tfl.nu/oyb7
  Replies (3) Good night (198) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt

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