Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
