Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
