the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
