do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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