I want to stick my p in your. b.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
What a dumb baby whore.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
