Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize