Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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