real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
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What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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