Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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