just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
