drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
