sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
They have beer where we have blood.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
