Nicole vs. Life
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize