So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
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who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
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Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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