someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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