We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
