Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
