Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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