I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Barsexuality is the new black.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
