oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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