next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
