It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
