am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
