This is not my ceiling
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize