Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
