its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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