The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
