i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
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Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
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To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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