as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
3 2 1 whiskey
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
