i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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