We need to rekindle our bromance
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
