He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
