she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
