Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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