i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
