Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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