6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
