There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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